Is this what people call happiness?
It's been quite some time since I wrote sad and tragic poetry on my skin with sharp objects. I don't feel the barbed wire around my neck right now, and I can almost take a lungful of air without feeling like I have been holding my breath for years. I don't feel like all the air in the world is trying to suffocate me anymore. It's like, lately, I do not feel sad and broken.
What is it? Are the dark days of my life over? Is it dawn already, and the sun is finally peeking through those mountains of depression and anxiety to shine its light on my crusty venom-ridden skin? Do I not have to sleep with one eye open, in the fear of being attacked in the pitch-black darkness, from now on? Are those demons that I used to see just shadows of the beautiful wings of my guardian angels?
I don't feel threatened and broken anymore. I don't feel the urge to run out of a room right after walking into it. I don't feel the need to fake smiles and force laughter anymore. Is this what people call happiness?
What is it? Are the dark days of my life over? Is it dawn already, and the sun is finally peeking through those mountains of depression and anxiety to shine its light on my crusty venom-ridden skin? Do I not have to sleep with one eye open, in the fear of being attacked in the pitch-black darkness, from now on? Are those demons that I used to see just shadows of the beautiful wings of my guardian angels?
I don't feel threatened and broken anymore. I don't feel the urge to run out of a room right after walking into it. I don't feel the need to fake smiles and force laughter anymore. Is this what people call happiness?
Farwa, I am so happy you do not feel bad anymore!
ReplyDeleteI like the phrase from one song, probably you know it, "It's always darkest before the dawn". So, I hope this dawn will bring you a lot of smiles and amazing moments!
Anyway, you may always come to me and talk ;)
These are some beautiful words. I haven't been on your page before and I wish I have been. I really like what you have been writing. Its really raw and open. There is something really beautiful in that.
ReplyDelete